Hello, My name is Tina, Daughter of Clifford Hastings (one of the boys beat 9 or 10
times in a year at The Marianna School for Boys in 1954 and 1955).
I just found out at 43 yrs old exactly what my Dad went through. I always knew
something was wrong with him but my Grandparents told me drugs and alcohol
made him this angry, unstable person. They never bothered to tell me that it was
that school that did this to him. They didn't know or didn't want to believe it. My
Dad has just told me they never believed him.
Image being a child and the people that were suppose to protect you tossing you
away and beating you till they almost killed you or until you wish you were dead.
Could you trust anyone after that? I went for 43 yrs thinking my Dad didn't love me
or want me or anyone for that matter. He was married 6 times. I was raised by his
Parents. I didn't get to meet my Mother until I was 23 yrs old. I remember asking her
what happened with you and my Daddy and all she would say was that he was so
angry and confused and she was scared to death of him and that she didn't want to
talk about it.
Again, I thought like I was told it was because of drugs and alcohol. That place
changed my Dad's life, my life, and my Brothers life. I didn't live with him raising my
Brother but because of what happened to him he would not spank or discipline my
Brother at all. He could do anything and get away with it. Well now he is 34 yrs old
and doesn't have a very structured life. He struggles because my Dad said he
would never be spanked for anything. I on the other hand had my share of
spankings from my Grandparents. So I thought my Dad sure loves my Brother but
he didn't love me. I got spankings but my Brother could do no wrong. It put a
wedge between us.
My Dad's only concern was that my Brother not get punished. It's all so clear now.
All he could see was himself in the face of his Son. My Father was never really able
to have a close relationship with me because having a relationship was so hard for
him. So, these people took my Father away from me. But, I am not as important as
he is in my opinion. He has had a very hard life because of all us this. All these
years unable to sleep at night. Now I know why. This can't happen to anymore kids.
I was sitting in Church looking at the little boys and girls and thinking that is what
my Dad looked like when he was ravaged like he was an animal. How could there
be such people in this world. All I could do was cry for him. Life has been so hard
My Dad got out of that place by lying and having his older Sister sign for him to go
in the Military. He was only 16yrs old and had just came from hell. Well needless to
say the authority thing didn't work out well for him. He ended up in prison. All he
knew to do was fight, fight, fight. Well, in prison he had a nervous breakdown. His
jaws locked. He was then given Electroshock therapy. He became acquainted with
a Psychologist. He told me about him last night. He said he was really good and
made him believe he could be normal and have a life. He became an editor for the
newspaper. He is a very talented artist.
He did his time and was asked if he wanted to go back to the Army. He did. Guess
what? The authority thing came back crashing down on him. Trust no one. All
people are out to get you. Needless to say that didn't work out for him. Well, then
he found drugs and alcohol to numb him. He found a wife or two to take it out on
when he was drinking and all the bad came back to haunt him. His life and ever one
around him would never be normal. Each one in a different way. I have since heard
all these horrible stories and told my Dad how sorry I was for what he has gone
through in his life. I wish I could change it. I am only thankful that he is alive and I
can try and show him how much I love him. I know some Daughters and Sons will
not get that chance. Their Fathers died with them saying good riddance you SOB.
All of our lives were shaped from the torture they allowed to go on in this place.
These were little boys who did nothing more than run away. Then when they got
there they just had the wrong look on their face whether it was a smile or a frown.
Some never found a reason to smile again.
Please hear them now. No one heard their cries over the fans and the pillows they
were biting. Make sure they are heard and acknowledged for what they have gone
Clifford Hasting's Daughter